Feb. 7, 1985

Flash back 24 years ago....Please....please... let me have this baby today. HE is 2 weeks over due, the BLUE nursery is ready, the BOY names are all picked out, the BLUE BABY BOY clothes are all washed and ready to dress new Baby BOY. Let's get this show on the road. All you Mommies know that last few days before delivery there is.. pain, swelling, heartburn, and a plethora of other undesirable things happening to your once tight and toned body. At about 1 a.m. my wish is finally coming true. I know it's time. On the way to the hospital mixed fear and excitement is filling the station wagon. Breath...Breath... Check in... hospital gown... hear moaning and screaming down the hall. The screaming doesn't help my family inherited anxiety. Hmmm says the nurse , no dilating yet. Heart monitor hook up, Dr. called, Dr. arrived...no dilation still. 17 hours of hard labor pass. Still no dilating. Well, Kathy.. it's a good thing you took the C-Section class, your husband can watch the birth of your new BABY BOY . I walked into the sterile OR myself, climbed up on the table, spinal, OUCH!!!, surgery prep. Are you ready for this? Ob-gyn's are amazing, especially those High Risk Doctors. With in 5 minutes, the amazing Dr. Callahan said" a new baby GIRL !!!. WHAT??? A baby GIRL. No way... a baby GIRL, I birthed a baby GIRL !
There's no way Dr. C., you said a boy, you saw on the ultra sound... boy, the heart beat continually said...boy. Every single thing that happened in the 9 1/2 months of being preggers said BOY !! Oh..Dr. Callahan, he hold up his fingers and eye balls about 1 inch and says," I was only off by " this much" WHO CARES !! IT'S A MIRACLE, A MIRACLE FROM GOD... I HAVE A NEW BABY GIRL. Who cares if all the boy clothes are given away, I think the nursery in primary colors will work for awhile, we'll find a name. I have a precious, little..(well 9 lb.,) perfect, red-haired baby girl. I couldn't keep my eyes off her, perfect in every way, and I was chosen to be her mommy. We decided on her great-grandmothers names. Laura Morie Burns was now part of this world. And the most important miracle in my life.
This little unexpected angel baby girl, who never, ever caused me a moment's trouble, is now a servant of the Master. Laura took the vow to go and preach, teach and share the Gospel of Jesus Christ. How can parents ever imagine what their children will grow up to be. We have hopes and dreams. We nurture, we teach, we try to make them socially acceptable and most importantly give pure love, un-conditional love... when you love someone so much there are no words to describe the feeling. We do all in our power to protect and guide these little spirits we are trusted with. My days of asking Mary " what should I do with my hair today" and her saying" Kathy I don't give a d--- what you do with your hair". It's all starting to sink in. My free spirited life is put on hold for a while. It's all about my little one now. All the sleepless nights, emergency hospital visits at 2 in the morning. It's time to do what my Mother raised me to do. Love, protect and teach my child. When Laura and her cousin Gregory were in first grade together. It was Charlene and me who got in trouble by the school principle. We were peeking thru the windows on their first day of school, making sure they were okay. Of course we were crying, we are Cragun's and these were our babies. My sisters understood when I couldn't go to Santa Barbara shopping when I saw an ambulance in front of the school. I needed to make sure Lolo wasn't hurt or scared. We just pulled in to the school and asked it if was one of our children, and then calmly and happily drove off to spend an afternoon with sisters. I was ridiculed by many, even a psychologist about my concern or worry for my daughter. " I'm catastrophic, I told them" and Leave me alone, " my defenses came out when it came to Laura. She is my one and only and I would never forgive myself if by my neglect something were to happen.
There were many wonderful times, we are best friends. I read a poem/story she wrote about me in the 3 rd grade. She called it " My Hero", it is one of my most treasured letters. I realized she took note of everything, she didn't miss a thing. Laura said I was her inspiration, but that I was also breakable. At 8 years old, she came up with something like that. This is her birthday week, Laura my would be BABY BOY, turned miracle daughter is now going on 24 years old. I can barely believe it, the time goes by so fast, and is so precious and important. There is not enough proper or adequate words to express my joy of raising Laura. I know Heavenly Father is proud of her and her accomplishments. Her pure love of others and her service to Him. I am proud of my miracle and miss her laughter. In 8 months, she will have completed her mission, however, her service will never end. Everyday ...we start over... she tells me with a new and clean slate and it is our duty to "bear each others burdens" and help our neighbor. If... we were able to donate a million dollars one day to the needy, does that make our service done? Nope... I have been taught that no matter what we do one day, we need to start over the next. You can't stock up charity, each day we MUST give, serve, love our fellow man. It is a commandment. " As I have loved you, love one another" This is what my miracle daughter is teaching and living every day in New York. If you have a moment, tell Lolo Happy B-day, she would love to hear from you. We appreciate everyone who has given of their time, love, $$, and prayers for Laura. You will be blessed. Stay on the Right Side of the Light Side, and remember you are loved. A shout-out to all mommies who send off their little ones with faith and tears to serve. love a missionary mommie, Kathy